The First Annual International Chicken Wing Challenge

Hi folks, I'm your host, Chef G., and I'm happier than a rooster crowing at dawn to be back with another episode of the Chef G. Cooking Channel.  In fact, I might actually have a little rooster in my blood.  For one thing, my friends often comment about how cocky I am.  For another thing, some of my neighbors have complained about all the cackling and screeching I do in the early morning hours.  In addition, Mrs. Chef G. tells me that even my appearance resembles that of a chicken.  I don't see any similarity myself, but, whatever.  

COCKADOODLE-DOOOOO!!!

Speaking of chickens, today's recipe will be all about chicken wings.  My original plan was to host a major chicken wing tournament, and I invited chicken wing chefs from all over the world to compete.  Not surprisingly, every one of them were too, shall we say, "chicken," to face me in a grilling showdown.   

Since all the other chefs were afraid of competing against me, the "First Annual International Chicken Wing Challenge" will feature three of my own versions to determine which chicken wing recipe is the best in all the world. 
   

While on my way to pick up some chicken wings for the challenge, I saw this rooster.  He can only WISH he was as handsome as me and could cockadoodle-doo as loud as me.

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I like all parts of a chicken except the liver and the feet.  But wings are my fave.  Sure, there is a lot of fatty skin surrounding the wing meat, and it requires a little extra work to nibble around the bones, but the meat is sooooo sweet and tender.  And there are many delicious rubs and sauces to enhance them.  And, thanks to the fat, it's almost impossible to overcook them or to f--k them up in any other way.

I have featured chicken wings in the past.  Long time fans will remember that recipe because it was one of the most popular episodes from the early days of the Chef G. Cooking Channel.  In case you are new to the blog, here is a link:  THE CHEF G. COOKING CHANNEL: ROASTED ASIAN CHICKEN WINGS (With A Guest Appearance By Another Famous Chef)

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Now it's time to get down to preparing three different chicken wing recipes for the tournament.  All of them will be easier than the complicated Roasted Asian Chicken Wings recipe, yet I still believe all of them have a chance to win the "KING OF THE WINGS" grand prize.

The first step is to educate you on exactly what part of a chicken I'm talking about here.  For that purpose, I'm going use one of my other artistic skills--painting.  (That's right, I have other artistic skills besides the art of cooking.)

Every chicken has two chicken wings.  They are located on each side of the body, next to the breast and above the legs (aka drumsticks.)

The chicken wing consists of three parts:  The drummie, the two-boned middle part, and the wingtip.  You will have to separate the parts with heavy-duty scissors or a butcher knife.  Once you've done that, save the drummies & middlies, and throw the wingtips directly into your stinky trash.

A picture of my wing separation surgery.

The next step involves seasoning.  As I said, I'm making three different kinds of wings, so I divided 18 wing pieces into three equal-sized batches.

Before grilling, I marinated six of them in House of Tsang stir fry sauce for an hour.  I rubbed another six with Tony Chachere's Creole seasoning.  The last six will be slathered with Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce while on the grill.

I was probably more anxious than you are to see which recipe will be the winner.  

I put them on the grill and gave them all my trademark tender loving care.  That involves moving them around and flipped them frequently to equalize the heating time. When I took them off the grill, all three looked like potential winners of the grand prize. 

From left to right:  Cajun Wings, Asian Wings, Barbeque Wings.  Pay no attention to the chicken breasts on the far right.  They are for the health-minded Mrs. Chef G.

It was time for the taste test to determine the champion.  The judge was the great Chef G.--ME.  I put one of each on a plate.  I tasted them individually, cleansing my palate with beer between each one.

The Cajun wings were delicious. The heat from the cayenne pepper was strong, but not overwhelming.  My mouth didn't catch on fire like it did after taking the tiniest nibble off of a scorpion pepper one time.

The Asian marinated wings were also delicious.  They had a nice balance between sweet, hot, tangy, and heavenly.

The BBQ sauce wings had a wonderful flavor.  They were easily the messiest, but they held their own against the other competitors.

Messy yes, but super tasty.

I was pretty sure I had a favorite, but before awarding a winner of the First International Chicken Wing Challenge, I ate another round just to be sure.  That finalized my decision.

THE WINNER OF THE FIRST "KING OF THE WINGS" PRIZE GOES TO . . . . . . . . . dramatic pause . . . . . . . . more drama . . . . . more suspense . . . . . . .

 . . . The Asian Marinated Wings!  Congratulations Asian Marinated Wings, you deserved the victory.

 

THE DINGALING BROTHERS & CHEF G. CIRCUS: A Meal for Kids of All Ages

Hi folks, Chef G. here, and I'm happier than a circus clown on laughing gas to be back with my 60th episode of The Chef G. Cooking Channel.

Speaking of circus clowns, I'm sure you know I've earned the America's Goofiest Celebrity Chef Award for three years in a row, and I'm also sure you've noticed that EVERY episode of my cooking channel is a clown show.  Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I'm finally going to present the circus-themed meal you've all been waiting for.

Chef G. in his clown regalia

It has been several decades since I last attended a circus, yet I vividly remember the FUN (hilarious antics of the crazy clowns), the SIGHTS (trapeze artists flipping in mid-air & monkeys riding bicycles), the SOUNDS (bizarre calliope music), and the SMELLS (urine-soaked straw and elephant poop) of the big top extravaganza.  Most of all, I remember the TASTES (caramel apples, cotton candy, popcorn, peanuts, hotdogs, corn dogs, soda pop, etc.)

If you, too, have fond memories of those deliciously sweet treats and salty snacks, you'll be very pleased with the meal I'm about to present.  The recipes involve circus foods, but with plenty of gourmet twists from the twisted mind of ME, Chef G.

The recipes will be family friendly too.  Yes, you can make them with your children.  The kids will love how my circus meal might involve enough super-processed junk food to make them vomit in ways the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey never imagined.

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THE MENU: A Three Ring Circus of Deliciousness

• Popcorn (Pan-popped in coconut oil and heavily sprinkled with exotic sea salt)
• Caramel Apple (Ripe fruit with a delicate, sugary coating)
• Hotdog Extraordinaire (Tender all-beef wiener, grilled over the finest charcoals from the upper midwest, placed in a carefully selected cheap bun, and topped with economically minded mustard.)
• Soda Pop (Tropical, citrusy, hazy and hoppy.)

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The popcorn course is quite simple, as you will see in the following photos.  The CHEF G. TWIST is that no microwave or air popper machinery was involved in the preparation.  (None of that yellowy stuff you see on movie theater popcorn either)

All you need is coconut oil, popcorn seeds, a pan, and sea salt.

Turn a burner up to medium and heat the popcorn in the oil.  Shake the pan frequently.  Then comes the magic of little seeds bursting into fluffy white flowers.  I made a video of that transformation.  Check it out. 

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The caramel apple course is also pretty easy.  The CHEF G. TWIST on this one is that I substituted the apple with a different fruit.  I guess you could call it a "caramel raisin."

Only two ingredients

Unwrap about 20 soft caramels, roll them into a ball with your hands, then smash the ball as flat as you can.  Place a raisin (a chocolate covered raisin for extra sweetness) in the middle and roll it all back into a ball.  Finally, push a little wooden stick into the middle.

The nice thing about a caramel raisin is that it's almost as big as a caramel apple, but it has more of the sugary caramel, and less of the healthy fruit.

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The beverage course was curated by yours truly.  The CHEF G. TWIST is that he paired his meal with a special kind of soda pop.

For the adult children only

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The main course is something very special.  I intended it to be a foot-long hotdog because I haven't had one of those things in a long time.  Incredibly, I couldn't find foot-longs in any of MY Town's three grocery stores.  Each of them had huge coolers full of hotdogs, with many brands.  Most of the brands had regular sized wieners, bun sized wieners, jumbo sized wieners, etc., but none of them had foot-long wieners.  What's up with that?

The CHEF G. TWIST is that I came up with a solution to the foot-long problem. 

I taped two regular-sized hotdogs together.

Then I heated up some charcoals and put my foot-long on the grate.

Here is the complete circus meal.  Now THAT'S some good eatin'.

Mongolian Beef, Chef G. Style

Hi folks, Chef G. here.  It has only been a day since my last episode, which makes this post unprecedented in the annals of Chef G. Cooking Channel history.  Let's just say, "I'm happier than a religious figure who has risen from the dead to be entertaining the world once again."

I'm not claiming to be a true religious figure but, let's face it, I DO have a huge cult-like following.

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I've never been to Mongolia, and the only things I know about the Mongolian culture is that they know how to endure cold weather, they herd yaks, and they pretty much invented yurts.

Chef G. from Outer Mongolia.  Way, way out of Outer Mongolia.

A yak

A yurt

I assume Mongolians invented Mongolian Beef too, but I can't be sure of that.  I was more than a little disappointed when I learned General Tso's Chicken--a staple at every Chinese restaurant in America--does not even exist in China.  In the same way, could it be that Mongolian Beef has no relationship to authentic Mongolian cooking?  Probably, but I don't even want to know the truth about that.

Mongolian Beef is one of my go-to dishes when I eat at Asian restaurants--along with Szechuan Chicken, Pork Lo Mein, Sushi, and any Thai dish that includes noodles.

I'm going to assume AUTHENTIC Mongolian chefs use yak meat, not cow meat, when cooking over an open flame inside their yurts.  I have no access to yak meat here in Minnesota, and I don't have a yurt.  Therefore, I'll substitute cow meat and a cheap electric stove in a warm kitchen for this recipe.  

The first step is to add 1/4 cup of corn starch to 1/2 lb. of thinly sliced sirloin and shake it around in a zip-lock baggie.  (Similar to how my mom used to make Shake 'n Bake in the 1970's.)  Then stir fry the beef in a very hot pan.  When browned on both sides, set the beef aside.

Next, mix 1/2 cup of brown sugar with 1/2 cup of soy sauce.

Add minced ginger and garlic to the same bowl.

Whisk it all together

Here's a picture of the beef I set aside.

The next step is to add slivered carrots and sliced onions to the brown sugar, soy sauce, ginger & garlic mixture.  Cook for about two minutes.

Prepare some delicious Jasmine rice according to directions on the package.

Get some green onions and red pepper flakes ready.  They'll be used for garnish and extra flavor.

Add the reserved beef to the pan.  It will be looking delicious after a few minutes of stir frying.

Add the green onions and red chilis.  Then serve over the rice.

I'll tell you one thing right now.  My Mongolian Beef was delicious, whether it was authentic or not.  The meat was tender and perfectly browned, the sauce was absolutely perfect, the aromatic vegetables were aromatic, the carrots were a scrumptious addition, and the heat was just riiiiight.  I congratulated myself after eating it.  You can congratulate me too after you've cooked the recipe yourself.

Chef G. Makes A Sandwich

Hi folks, Chef G. here!  After a flurry of excellent food blogging back in June, I took a long, well-deserved summer vacation which included a couple of bicycle trips and lots of laziness.  Today, it's time to get back to the serious business of being a celebrity chef, and I'm surprisingly happy about going to work again.  In fact, I'm happier than a film buff who just watched five Coen Brothers movies in a row.  I'm happier than a drunken wine aficionado visiting Napa Valley.  I'm happier than a tyrannosaurus rex chowing down on mastodon meat.  

I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how happy I am, but I'm not going to.  That would be excessive.  I mean, all of my millions of fans know that I'm a humble man, a man of few words, a man who wouldn't go to such great lengths to lengthen a paragraph with unnecessary verbiage and dumb jokes.

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Today's topic is sandwiches.  I've made several of them in past episodes.  Off hand, I can remember putting the unique Chef G. spin on a Juicy Lucy, a Reuben, a pizza burger, a grilled cheese with ham, a BLT and a chicken salad sandwich.  You can look up those recipes someday if you get really bored.  

I like sandwiches because good ones contain something from all of the food groups.  The BEST ones are heavy on the #1 most important food group--meat.

Last week, Mrs. Chef G. and I brought my dad to a fast-food restaurant called "Freddies Frozen Custard & Steak Burgers" in Waterloo, Iowa.  To my surprise, my dad ordered a Pork Tenderloin Sandwich.  It was one of the few items on the menu other than variations on "steak burgers."  (By the way, what they call "steak burgers" looked and tasted an awful lot like what I call "hamburgers."  Don't worry, though, I didn't go so far as to register a complaint with management about it.)  

Anyway, my dad's pork tenderloin sandwich is what gave me the idea to try making one of those middle American delicacies for my cooking blog.  I've had one of those monsters in the past, and it was okay at best.  However, that thing my dad was eating looked a lot better than my Freddies Original Double, which consisted of not one, but two patties of steak burger.  Maybe a PTS was worth a try?

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It seems small town diners in states like Texas, Oklahoma, Iowa and Indiana take great pride in their versions of the Pork Tenderloin Sandwich--especially when it comes to how far they can extend the breaded greasy meat beyond the bun.

Here are a couple of PTS pictures I stole from the internet.

I think they try to use small hamburger buns to emphasize the largeness of the meat.

No bun on earth could cover this thing.  In the Pork Tenderloin Sandwich world, bigger is better, I guess.

Chef G. F--ks Up and Settles for a Substitute Sandwich

Note the humiliation and dumbfoundedness on Chef G.'s face after he realized he wasn't infallible after all.

Oh yeah, I planned all along to slice up a big pork tenderloin, pound the slices into flat slabs, dip the slabs into egg & milk & bread crumbs, and fry them in hot oil.  

Unfortunately, this afternoon I found that I forgot to defrost the pork tenderloin I had in the freezer.  As a result, everything I've written about pork tenderloin sandwiches so far is all for nothing. 

Never one to waste perfectly good words and paragraphs, I could not bring myself to hit the "Cancel Post" button.  So, I scrambled to find ingredients to make a substitute sandwich.  Luckily, I had enough stuff in my refrigerator to make a passable Philadelphia Cheese Steak Sandwich.  Here are a few photos of how I made my substitute sandwich--they're a testament to my impromptu cooking genius:

I sliced some sirloin steak as thin as possible.

Onions are the second most important ingredient after the steak.

I didn't have the third most important ingredient for my ad lib recipe--that would be green peppers.  Therefore, salt and pepper became the third and fourth most important ingredients.

Heat up some olive oil.

Get some shredded cheese ready.  Provolone is the cheese of choice for Philadelphia Cheese Steak experts.  I didn't have Provolone.  In the heat of the moment, I had to go with Mozzarella.

Slice a decent bakery bun in half and assemble the Philly Cheese Steak.

The meat and onions are ready to scoop onto the bun.

I sprinkled the Mozzarella on top and chowed down on one of my best sandwiches ever.

So, I guess you could say I pulled the old bait & switch trick.  Sorry about that.  Chef G.'s pork tenderloin sandwich will have to wait for a future episode.  I believe I have the ability to make the biggest one anybody has ever seen.