SWEDISH BALLS OF MEAT

Hi folks, welcome back to your computer screen and, more importantly, thank you for opening that screen to The Chef G. Cooking Channel.  I'm your host, Chef G., and boy do I have a treat for you today.  Let's just say this meal has something to please the taste buds of every tongue it comes in contact with.  It has elements of America's Mid-West, Europe's Scandinavian region, the Himalayan Mountains of Asia, and the starry sky of the Milky Way Galaxy.  Only an amazing cook like Chef G. (ME) could bridge such enormous distances and bring all that diversity together onto one unified plate.  Read on to see how I performed such a miracle.

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Basically, this is my version of Swedish Meatballs.  That being the case, I think it's important to discuss the definitions of the words "Swedish" and "Meatballs."

"Swedish" can be roughly defined as: "from, or characteristic of, Sweden."  The word conjures up images of seaside villages, evergreen forests, aurora borealis, reindeer, ABBA, Stieg Larsson and healthy living.

"Meatball" is more easily defined as: "a ball of meat."  Personally, I use the terms "meatball" and "ball of meat" interchangeably -- sometimes in the same sentence.  For example, I might say to Mrs. Chef G., "I think I'll start making some balls of meat for tonight's meal of spaghetti and meatballs."  It really doesn't matter whether you call them "meatballs" or "balls of meat" or "orb-shaped meat product" or any other name, because none of those names can make a sphere of animal flesh sound all that enticing.  Yet, they sure can be tasty, particularly when prepared by the skillful hands of ME, Chef G.

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I also need to address the important connection between the Nation of Sweden and the State of Minnesota.  That connection involves much more than the eight months of cold weather we share.

I bet you didn't know that Minnesota has more Swedes than any state in the U.S.  (Norwegians too.)  Thirty-two percent of our population has some Swedish heritage.  That's a pretty wild statistic.

Despite that huge Swedish connection, Minnesotans seem to have joined the rest of the U.S. in our preference for Mexican & Asian cuisine, steaks, hamburgers, wings, pizza, and fried chicken strips/nuggets/tenders.

Well, I think it's time to rediscover our Scandinavian food heritage.

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For my meatballs, I like to start with good old ground beef (hamburger.)  You COULD use any type of ground meat for your meatballs though.  The possibilities are endless--turkey, bison, venison, rabbit, ostrich, pork, squirrel, vulture, badger--just use your imagination and go wild.  I don't have much imagination so, as I said, I stick with boring old ground up muscle, bone trimmings, internal organs, fat, and other body tissue from cows.  Then I add minced onion, garlic, egg, bread crumbs, spices, soy sauce and some other junk.  Then I smoosh it all together in a large bowl.

My recipe has been adjusted and modified many times before
I finally achieved perfection.

I think this shows most of the ingredients.

The Asian connection: Pink-hued salt from the Himalayan salt mines. 

I do my smooshing by hand because germs and grime tend to enhance the flavor.

Form the mixture into balls of meat.

Here they are after 25 minutes of baking.  Oh my, they look delicious.

These meatballs are not only delicious, they're versatile too.  They can be eaten right off the pan, or they can be simmered in a variety of sauces such as marinara, barbeque, teriyaki, or cream of mushroom soup.  They can be served as appetizers at parties, receptions, and other events.  They can also be the featured component of such dishes as Spaghetti & Meatballs and today's dish--Swedish Meatballs.  You could even bring a bucket of them to the golf course for use at the driving range.

I should mention that I believe Swedes are fine people and all.  In fact, I'm half Swede myself.  But Swedish cooking tends to be, how shall I say, AS BLAND AS THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN.  I'm sorry to have to admit that.

Thank goodness, my Swedish Meatball sauce spices things up a little bit with a few dollops of  Sriracha or Tabasco, yet it maintains its Swedish heritage by staying closer to the angelic side than the devilish side.  Here's the recipe for the sauce:

Mmmmmm, looking good!

While your meatballs simmer in the sauce, cook up some egg
noodles according to package directions.

Pour the meatball sauce over the Amish noodles.  Serve with coleslaw made of hand-chopped cabbage, red cabbage, carrots & onion, and a home-made sauce containing sugar, mayonnaise, vinegar, lime juice, and the best buttermilk in the Milky Way.  A meal doesn't get much better than that.

Bringing this post to a close, I'd like to present one more interesting tidbit.  Did you know that meatballs are so delicious that they have been featured in a couple of Hollywood movies and several sequels.  Off hand, I can't think of any other food that has been honored by the film industry so many times.