CORNISH GAME HENS ARE LIKE MINIATURE OSTRICHES

Hi folks, in case you've forgotten, my name is Chef G. and I'm the pompous braggart who hosts this program.  It's great to see so many of you loyal viewers tuning in month after month, week after week, episode after episode.  I have to believe you appreciate my delicious recipes, my nostalgic stories, my impeccable cooking techniques, and my sparkling personality almost as much as I do.

My inspiration for today's episode derives from the wonderful world of poultry.  That's right, we are going to roast a couple of miniature ostriches.

Actually, they aren't so much miniature ostriches as they are miniature turkeys, which is perfect timing because Christmas will be here in two days.  More turkeys are cooked on Christmas Day than any other day except Thanksgiving.  (I don't have any real proof of that assertion other than my own gut feeling.)

But, as a world famous chef, I've got to be honest.  While it's true I'm going to be cooking a bird, this dish involves a bird that is more like a mini-chicken than a mini-ostrich or mini-turkey.  In fact, technically speaking, it truly IS a small species of chicken.

It's called a Cornish Game Hen, which is a more pretentious term than "miniature chicken."  Cornish Game Hens, like chickens, are 4.5 times tastier than turkeys and ostriches.  Therefore, I highly recommend you throw out the turkey you were planning to cook for Christmas dinner, and pick up a few of these hens.  (You'll be able to distinguish them from chickens because they're only about 1/4 the size.)

The very BEST thing about Cornish Game Hens is the coolness factor.  I mean, how could your guests' plates look any cooler than having an entire roasted bird on it?  Certainly not by having a couple slices of dry turkey breast on it!

Let's get down to the prep, shall we?

After defrosting the game hens (sad to say, it's very rare to find fresh ones in American grocery stores) rinse them in cold water, pat them dry, and season them inside and out.  I put together a mix of dried sage, paprika, pepper and plenty of salt for my seasoning.  My wife, Mrs. Chef G., prefers no seasoning at all.  She has the blandest tastes I've ever known--aside from my Swedish grandma.

Transfer the seasoned birds to the rack of your roasting pan.  At this point you can add your favorite stuffing to the rear cavity.  I've made a great wild rice stuffing in the past, but then I discovered an even better stuffing--onion wedges.  They add excellent flavor and aroma to the meat.  (Of course, stuffing of any kind is totally optional.)

Preheat your oven to 350-degrees (F).  (Note how Chef G. uses a regular household oven--not a fancy- pants restaurant oven like most of the other celebrity chefs use.  Chef G. is a man of the people.)

Roast in the oven, breast side up, for about 70 minutes and it will look something like this.  Let them rest for five more minutes before serving.

Serve with saffron rice topped with a bit of olive oil.  Add a green vegetable if that's your thing.  This meal pairs well with a good Chardonnay, I think.  It pairs better with a good IPA, I KNOW.

In conclusion, your family members will absolutely LOVE eating their own individual mini-turkeys.  Take the actual turkey you were planning to serve, and save it for another occasion--like your annual neighborhood block party.  The dogs will love it.