EVERYBODY LOVES CHEF G.

 

Hi folks, Chef. G. here, and I thank you for patiently awaiting my return to the Chef G. Cooking Channel.  I hope you didn't worry about me too much, though I'm sure my two-month absence had to be agonizing for my legion of Chef G-niuses.  I can assure you that, even though I haven't been blogging, I've definitely been cooking.  I cook, like, almost every day.  If I didn't cook, I'd lose my creative celebrity chef edge.  If I didn't cook, I'd go plum crazy.  If I didn't cook, I'd have no reason to live.  If I didn't cook, I wouldn't NEED a reason to live because I'd starve to death.

Anyway, I'm happier than a fox in a Tyson Chicken plant to be back with you today.  That's because I have a very special dish coming up.  It's something I've never cooked before.  Furthermore, it's something I've never even eaten before.  Yet, I'm strangely compelled to give a try.  

Why?  Here's the backstory:

Last night I was watching an old rerun of "Everybody Loves Raymond," which is one of my all-time favorite TV sitcoms.  I think I've seen every episode at least three times over the years and I still laugh at them.  If you're married and can't recognize the humor and everyday reality in that show, I worry for you.

Sorry, I got sidetracked a little bit there.  So, last night's episode reminded me of a recurring joke about Debra Barone's (Raymond's wife's) bad cooking skills.  It seems the only thing she can cook that's any good is her Lemon Chicken.  And it's strongly implied that the only reason she is able to make Lemon Chicken is that the recipe is very easy.

Well, "easy" is right up my alley, so I looked up some Lemon Chicken recipes on the Google Brain.  I could not believe how many variations came up.  I'm guessing Debra Barone's recipe involved nothing more than squirting some lemon juice on baked chicken.  The version I'm going to prepare--using different ideas from various recipes--is a little more complicated than that, but still pretty easy.  

Read on to see how I made "Lemon Chicken ala Chef G."

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Before I could get started, I had to pick up three important ingredients.  (Riding my bike to the grocery store gives me much satisfaction.  I do it almost every day.)

With the purchase of lemons, Italian flat leaf parsley, and a medium-priced dry white wine, I now have everything I need.

I've got the seasonings . . .

. . . and I've got the olive oil and three chicken breasts.

I preheated my oven to 400-degrees Fahrenheit.  Then I mixed three teaspoons of the poultry seasoning, one teaspoon of the garlic powder, 1/4 teaspoon of the freshly-ground pepper, 3/4 teaspoon of Pink Himalayan salt, and 1/4 cup of extra virgin olive oil.

Now, you might be thinking I'm a hack for using "poultry seasoning" instead of fresh oregano, sage, and thyme.  You may be right, but I redeemed myself by using the pretentious Pink Himalayan salt and extra virgin olive oil instead of regular Morton salt and NON-virgin olive oil.  So, take that, you culinary purists!

 

Here's what the slurry looked like after I whisked that combination of lame and pretentious ingredients together.  It looked good enough to drink right out of the bowl, but I resisted and poured it over the chicken breasts instead.

Then, with the help of my professional camera crew, I made a video of me performing what I consider the most important part of the recipe.  I don't use sterile spoons or spatulas to work the spice mixture into the meat.  I use my hands.  I didn't worry about bacteria because my hands were somewhat clean.  That is to say, I washed them within the last couple of hours, and I didn't use the toilet since then.

The next step in preparation was to mince three cloves of garlic and to grate a couple teaspoons of lemon zest into a bowl.  Then I used all the grip strength I had to squeeze every ounce of juice out of a lemon into the same bowl.  The piece de resistance was to turn the bottle of Pinot Grigio a couple times toward the bowl, whisk it all together, and pour it over the seasoned chicken.

Then, I sliced up another lemon and strategically placed the slices on top and in between the chicken breasts.  

Blurry picture of garlic and lemon zest

Pretty picture of the dish before putting it into the oven.

A mediocre picture of the dish after it spent 30 minutes in the oven. 

Before serving, I sprinkled some flat leaf parsley over the top of the chicken.  That helped make the dish look very pretty again. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of the prettiness.

All I can tell you at this point is that the "Lemon Chicken ala Chef G." was delicious.  I was amazed how nicely the lemon, wine and garlic penetrated the meat.  Mrs. Chef G. and I could taste all the flavors in every single bite.  This dish will definitely become part of my regular rotation of fine meals in the Chef G. household.

"Thank you, Debra, for bringing Lemon Chicken to my attention."

"You're very welcome, Chef G."