Hi folks, Chef G. here again. As the most exciting contributor to the Chef G. Cooking Channel, I have to believe my fans are more than interested to read what I have to say about the blandest food in in the entire plant-based kingdom. There's no need to try to keep you in suspense about what that flavorless dud of a vegetable might be; if you bothered to read the title of today's blog post, you already know the topic is the lowly potato.
And if you noticed the photo at the top of the page, you already know that I have been awarded the coveted "Potato Specialist" chef hat by the National Institute of Potato Goodness. What that means is that I have achieved the cooking world's highest distinction for my ability to make potatoes taste good.
It's not that hard, really. All you have to do is remember not to cook and serve potatoes all by themselves. My Swedish grandmother taught her daughter, my mom, how to boil that most basic staple food in plain water. I guess that's how I grew up thinking potatoes sucked.
Sure, I enjoyed French fries at burger joints occasionally when I was a kid, but I don't think I was sophisticated enough to associate them with the flavorless white tubers that I knew as potatoes. I guess I thought French fries were a food unto themselves.
Once I realized they actually WERE potatoes, well, that's when I learned grease, salt and ketchup can enhance the flavor by a factor of ten. That discovery was akin to when I found my mom's boiled and mashed potatoes were a little better with a pat of butter on top. And they tasted better yet with gravy on top.
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I still refuse to steam or boil (or mash) potatoes, but I've made them in almost every other imaginable way--French fries, hash browns, potato chips, potato salad, baked, fried, grilled, au gratin, mixed into pasties & casseroles, etc. I've done it all and, once again, the key point is: DO NOT COOK THEM PLAIN. THEY MUST HAVE FAT AND PLENTY OF SALT. Herbs and spices are nice too.
Here's a quick story: I almost set my house on fire while making the potato chips. Somehow, the grease in the pan caught fire while I ran downstairs to catch the end of the TV show I was watching. When I smelled smoke and raced back upstairs, the kitchen was filled with smoke and there were huge flames rising from the pan.
I panicked at first, then made the judgement call to run the pan out the front door. After burning my hand on the pan handle, I grabbed a hot pad, raced downstairs, and threw the pan into the snow. The flame burned for a couple more minutes and cooked the thinly-sliced potato chips to perfection. How lucky can an aspiring celebrity chef get?
The UN-lucky thing was that I was subjected to some not-so-nice yelling and humiliation when Mrs. Chef G. got home an hour later.
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| The charred oak cupboards are a lasting reminder of that horrible incident. |
POTATOES, THREE WAYS
This section is where I'll copycat a couple of my posts from the past--the ones in which I prepared corn three different ways and eggs three different ways. Like movie studios who produce sequels to highly successful films, I'm going to do the same thing with my highly successful blog posts, only this time it will involve potatoes.
To assist me with the task, I called on my only rival in the potato cooking world. I challenged him to a potato cook-off and he accepted my challenge. Please give a warm welcome to Chef Potato Brain.
The rules for the challenge were simple: Chef Potato Brain will make his best potato dish and I will make mine. Then I will decide which one is the best. Incredibly, the dork agreed to my rules . . . with one small exception. He insisted I judge a third potato dish. That would be a potato dish made by BOTH of us.
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| Chef Potato Brain wrapping his baked potato in foil for the grill. |
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| Chef G. slicing up French fries for the oven |
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| Both chefs preparing a potato & onion concoction with salt, pepper, butter, and a secret blend of spices. It will be wrapped up in foil and added to the grill with Chef Potato Brain's baked potato. |
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| Chef Potato Brain braved the heat and kept a close eye on his baked potato and our potato & onion concoction. |
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| French fry perfection |
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| Baked potato perfection |
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| Potato, Onion, Spices, Butter & Olive Oil Perfection |
I think the judging for the competition was on target. Definitely all yummy looking, but potatoes and veg in foil over a fire really is second to none. It's one of the best things about having a fire when camping. You've made me crave some of the same! I do like a potato baked in the coals, too, though, if it is crispy on the outside but soft and fluffy inside.
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting how you came to an aversion of mashed potatoes - I've always enjoyed those, and instant mash on backpacking trips seems a staple and good flavour enhancer and thickener.
Glad you didn't burn down the kitchen, but I've known two other people whom have done the same cooking fries. I wonder where it sits in the stats for house fire causes. No one else can claim their cooking came out perfect afterward though, so you get the trophy!
My vote for most bland veggie that is difficult to work with and make taste nice is jicama. Give me a potato any day! I'm particularly fond of crispy smashed potatoes or twice-baked. And for trivia, baked potatoes in Oz are called 'jacket' potatoes. Glad to see another instalment, Chef G. -- Emily
I have to agree with you on one point and disagree with you on another. Let's start with the one we agree on:
DeleteI stand corrected. Jicama really does take the prize as blandest vegetable. Mrs. Chef G. was on a jicama kick for a while because she read about how healthy they are. One day, she used the very same recipe for French fries I showed in this article, except she substituted jicama instead of potato. I tried to put on a happy face while eating a few of her jicama fries, but I think she saw through my ruse when I kept sprinkling more and more salt on them. No amount of salt and ketchup could make those things taste good. Mrs. Chef G. would deny it, but I think she, too, was pretending to like them.
I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with you about mashed potatoes. Okay, they can be pretty good when slathered with so much gravy that it becomes gravy with mashed potatoes instead of mashed potatoes and gravy. And I've had some passable versions of skin-on garlic mashed potatoes. But, OMG, those instant mashed potatoes are the absolute worst! I will admit though, that I've never used them as a thickener for other dishes. I can see how that might work out okay.