Chef G. Perfects The Art of Boiling Water for Fun and Profit

Hi folks, Chef G. here and I'm happier than a clown walking in oversized shoes to be here for another episode.  Today, we're going to get down to the most basic dish any budding chef should learn to prepare.

Now you might be thinking boiled water is a little TOO basic, but hold your horses before making that judgement.  (Alternately, hold onto any horse-like animal with hooves you choose--like zebras, giraffes, mooses, etc.)

I'm about to show you the correct way--the Chef G. way--to boil water and, more importantly, how to have fun with the end result.

 

The first thing you have to do is fill a pan with cold water.  Not hot water.  Not warm water.  Not room-temperature water.  COLD water.

Next, heat up one of your stove's burners by turning the dial to seven.  Resist the temptation to turn it up to ELEVEN, like Spinal Tap does on their amplifiers.  It's important to bring the cold water to a boil slowly, not fastly.  Slowliness brings out the subtle flavors and texture of boiled water.

If you aspire to be a famous chef like me, make sure to take a selfie and post it on Blogspot or any other social media.

Eventually, the heat of the burner will turn your cold water into a pan of boiling hot, crystal clear liquid that has come alive.

This is the point where I demonstrate how you can turn perfectly boiled water into a fun work of art.  Perhaps you thought the only entities who could create clouds are God or mother nature.  I'm here to prove you wrong.  Chef G. can make clouds and so can you.

Before I get to that, it's time for a commercial message from a kind sponsor of The Chef G. Cooking Channel.

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Indeed, the BK-150 is so sharp it can cut butter.

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Yup, I suppose you could say I've sold out.  I prefer to view it as increasing my revenue stream so that I can continue providing important cooking information to the general public.  Yes, The Chef G. Cooking Channel's ratings have leveled out at something like a million viewers per episode.  That's not enough.  I need more to support my lavish lifestyle.  Therefore, I am accepting ads from any food-related sponsor who is willing to pay.  Sure, my rates are high, but not as high as Superbowl ads.

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Now, let's proceed to the FUN part of boiling water.

On a morning that is 15-degrees below zero (F), you can take the pan of boiling water out onto the back deck and throw it into the air.  You will be amazed at the ice crystals that immediately form and fall to the ground.  You'll be even more amazed at the cloud you just created.