Chef G's Healthy Halloween Special

 

Hi folks, Chef G. here, and I'm happier than a zombie diving into a mound of human flesh to be with you for another episode of the best cooking show on earth--The Chef G. Cooking Channel.

Halloween is my favorite holiday.  It's Mrs. Chef G.'s favorite holiday too.  We dig handing out treats to little monsters on our front porch almost as much as we dig digging graves in our backyard.  Can you DIG it?  (Just a little Halloween joke, folks, please don't call the police.)

Let me tell you about how I, the Magnificent Chef G., celebrated Halloween last night.

For one thing, I wore my long-haired, hippy-chef costume, which freaked out a lot of people who only know me as a bald chef.

For another thing, I helped Mrs. Chef G. set up some decorations designed to scare the holy bejeezus out of those little punks who would soon be swarming the neighborhood.

But the most important thing I did was COOK.  I taught a couple of sweet old ladies how to make a proper witch's brew.

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Chef G.'s Witch's Brew Recipe

The first step is to combine the following ingredients:

-One gallon, green pig snot (try to get the extra-runny version)

-One gallon, green alligator vomit

-And one gallon, jalapeno flavored Kool Aid

Stir the above ingredients together in a large cauldron and bring to a boil over the flaming bones of a freshly slaughtered dragon.

Allow to boil for ten minutes while adding rat guts, bat wings, eyes of newts, lizard legs, frog toes, and a quart of Orc blood.  Then recite the following incantation:

"Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble."

Lower the heat and allow the brew to simmer for two hours.  The result will be the most scrumptious dish you can imagine.  On this particular evening, several hundred kids agreed.

When the brew was cooked to my satisfaction, I left the little old ladies alone to ladle out servings to the trick or treaters.

At 8:00 p.m. it was dark, yet the whippersnappers were still clamoring for more witch's brew.

So that concludes the first episode of the new era of Chef G. healthy eating.  Check back in a couple of weeks for a more traditional healthy meal.  Thank you.