Good Pasta, Bad News

Hi folks, it's your cooking hero Chef G. here, and I'm pleased to welcome you to another episode of the Chef G. Cooking Channel.  A couple days ago I was very excited to brag about how I prepared homemade pasta for the first time.  It was a major revelation to me that I could make a batch of linguini by stirring some eggs into a pile of all-purpose flour, then smooshing it together with my bare hands, then forming it into a ball, then wrapping the ball in Saran wrap, then letting the ball sit in the wrap for an hour, then cutting the ball into four pieces, then rolling the hell out of each piece with a rolling pin until it would roll out no more, then cutting the flattened dough into narrow slices with a pizza cutter.

I gotta tell ya, it was big time fun.  Sure, it took a lot of time and effort, but the results were so much tastier than what you can get out of a $3.00 box of Creamette's linguine from the grocery store.

One ball of dough rolled out on the board, another ball in my hand ready to go.

Here is the linguine I sliced from the first ball.

Here is the linguine I sliced from all four balls.  That's a nice batch of linguine.

I know, I know--I should have taken more pictures of the process.  Somehow, I went into a pasta-making trance and lost track of what I should have been doing to enhance this blog post.

The only thing I have left in my arsenal is to show you the final result.

Homemade pasta doesn't need spaghetti sauce slathered all over it.  All I did was drizzle a little olive oil and sprinkle some salt & freshly chopped flat leaf parsley.  DELICIOUS!

Despite my pasta making success, this blog post comes with a heavy heart.  I saw something on my news feed that makes me think I should change my name.

I just found out there is a rapper out there named Sheff G. who is a big fan of former president Trump.  Sheff G. sounds too much like Chef G. for my comfort.  I don't get much relief from the fact that Sheff G has a criminal record and I do not.  Okay, I get it that some people might think this blog is a criminal offense to literature.  So be it.

Anyway, I hope you can click on this video of Mr. Trump introducing Sheff G. who, in turn endorsed the ex-president who thinks he is still the president. 

Of course, Sheff G. can endorse whoever he wants, and Trump can endorse any rapper he wants.  I just don't want to be associated with either one of them.

I might have an alternative to changing my name, however.  I could sue Sheff G. for copyright infringement.  I think a good, high-powered lawyer could convince any jury in the land that Sheff G. only came up with his lame name to profit from the fame of the original Chef G.

THE F-WORD: Swimming Into Fish Excellence

 

Hi folks, it's your best friend forever, the fearless Chef G.  Today, my foolish plan is to feed my face with fried fish.  Foolish in that my forays into fishdom have frequently failed.  I fear fish.  Fish are flavorful, but freakishly easy to f#(k-up.  Finding a fun way to favorably fix the flesh of a fish filet to fine flaky excellence is almost futile.  Furthermore, despite the fear factor, I feel I must face my fear and take my fish fetish a few steps forward--forgetting past failures and looking forward to my fishy future.

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Okay, I'm a little embarrassed at my attempt at alliteration, but I hope not to embarrass myself further in today's attempt to fry Minnesota's state fish without turning it into a greasy, over-cooked mess.  As I said in my introduction, fish is the most difficult meat to cook properly.

And, as I've written in the past, fish meat IS a meat, no matter what the fish-eating vegetarians say.

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While cruising the grocery store aisles yesterday for something interesting to eat, I pushed my cart past the seafood section.  I think I still had visions of preparing another honey-soy salmon like the one featured in my last post.  "No, it's too soon for that," I thought.  Then I passed up the shrimp, crab legs, and scallops.  I had some kind of white fish in mind.  The talapia looked pretty good--so did the catfish--but there is no way I could pass up the fresh walleye.  I've never prepared Minnesota's state fish before; I've only eaten it in restaurants.

Okay, I'm fully aware that the walleye fillet I purchased wasn't caught by a guy with a fishing pole, from a boat, on a pristine Minnesota lake.  I was equally confident that it wasn't harvested in the mercury infested waters of the Mississippi River.  More likely, it was raised on some kind of filthy walleye farm in Canada.

Even so, I looked forward to bringing it home and trying to cook it without messing it up.  I debated baking vs. frying, but then I came to my senses.  No self-respecting walleye fisherman bakes his catch.  OH no, he seasons it, dips it in egg or milk, then coats it in Shore Lunch or some other brand of prepared breading, and fries it in oil at his lakeside campsite.  (I've tried fishing in the past.  I don't have the patience for it, nor the killer instinct.  As with all meats, I let somebody else do the dirty work.) 

In my case, I mixed up my own breading with a mixture of flour, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, black pepper, and plenty of salt.  MMMMmmm.

I cut the fillets into smaller pieces so they'd fit in the pan and tossed them in some pre-heated olive oil. I watched them sizzle this time.  I think part of my previous fish cooking failures were a result of walking away and kind of forgetting about them.  After five minutes of sizzling, I turned them over and fried them for another five minutes.  MMMMmmmm!

         

Minnesota's Official State Fish since 1965

You can't see my mouth in this photo, but I'm drooling.

I did it!  Perfectly flaky fried fish meat!

I forgot to mention the delicious pasta salad I made to accompany my fish dish.  It's just a mix of Farfalle (bowtie pasta), broccoli, cauliflower, onion, carrot, red bell pepper, cherry tomatoes, pepperoni, grated parmesan cheese, and Italian dressing.  I gave another seal of approval to the salad, but I didn't feel the need to make a video of that one.  A photo is sufficient.

HIP HIP HOORAY! HUZZAH! CHEERS! OLE'!: LET THE CELEBRATION BEGIN!

Hi folks, Chef G. here for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very special edition of my wonderful cooking blog.  As the title suggests, today's post is a major milestone for the Chef G. Cooking Channel.  Incredibly, I've reached episode #40 and the network hasn't even suggested cancelling my program yet.

As usual I'm ready to once again fulfill all of your reading and cooking dreams, but I'll be doing it a little differently this time.

That's because I sent out surveys to my many, MANY followers from all over the world.  I asked them to vote for which one of the following recipes they most wanted to see for this auspicious occasion:

1)  Honey and soy glazed salmon

2)  Stir fried broccoli

3)  Corned beef & hash

4)  Hearty beef & barley soup

5)  Louisiana Gumbo

All nine of my rabid fans exclaimed, "ALL OF THEM!!!"

I aim to please, but I don't have enough time in my busy schedule to write up FIVE detailed recipes in one day.  Plus, I'm a little lazy.  Therefore, I'm going to be using the art of photography instead of the arts of chefery and bloggery and recipe-ery.  And I gotta tell ya, you are in store for some pretty amazing food photography.  GET READY!

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Honey& Soy Glazed Salmon fresh out of the oven.  DELICIOUS

Served with Minnesota wild rice, it's even DELICIOUSER.

Stir Fried Broccoli.  I was going to add it to another dish, but I couldn't wait.  So I ate it all by itself.

I planned to cook a corned beef brisket for Mrs. Chef G. and me on St. Patrick's Day, but we got a last minute invitation from our next door neighbors to join them for--you guessed it--an Irish corned beef and cabbage dinner.  We ate our own corned beef brisket a couple weeks later.  The next day, I made corned beef hash from the leftovers.  DELICIOUS!

The best corned beef hash ever made by anyone!

'Twas even better with a dollop of perfectly cooked scrambled eggs and a slice of cheese.

One day I made a beef pot roast.  It was delicious, of course.  The next day, I put the fat, the juices, the bone, and some onions, garlic, carrots & celery in a soup pot with water and boiled it.  Four hours later, I strained all the solids out of the beautiful broth.  The day after that, I sauted some fresh carrots, celery & onions in butter, then added the beautiful broth and shredded leftover beef.  After that simmered for an hour, I added barley and let it simmer another hour.  With five minutes left to go, I added frozen peas.

DELICIOUS beyond belief.

Somewhere along the line I discovered my new favorite cheese.  When I bought it, I thought the label said "Le Gregyere" which would have been appropriately cheesy.

Cajun food is one of my favorite ethnic styles.  I featured a jambalaya back in the early days of the Chef G. Cooking Channel, but I've never ventured into the world of Gumbo.  I'm glad I tried it out on this particular day.

Ladle it onto some perfectly cooked rice, and you would not believe the DELICIOUSNESS.

BONUS COVERAGE: 

Once in a while, it's nice to go to a restaurant--even when your own cooking is so much better.  I just thought I'd share a couple memorable restaurant experiences to help celebrate my 40th episode.

Every five or ten years, some old college buddies and I get together for lunch at The Monte Carlo--a retro cool restaurant in Minneapolis.  Look how much more hair those other guys have on their heads than Chef G. has on his head.

Every once in a while, Mrs. Chef G. and I go out for a restaurant meal.  Recently, we tried a new Thai place in town.  She really liked whatever this was called.

  

I liked my Mussels Karapoa better.  I MUST bribe the restaurant owners for their recipe.

Thank you, everyone, for your incredible support through 40 wonderful episodes.  That's what keeps me publishing this stuff.

PATTY MELT & GREEN SALAD: A ST. PATRICK'S DAY CELEBRATION

Hi folks, Chef G. here and, by golly gosh, I sure am on a roll here on the Chef G. Cooking Channel.  This will be the third consecutive month I've posted this year, which is a big improvement over my performance in 2023.  I think I might have been spurred by seeing some of my celebrity chef competitors posting their crap on cooking shows almost every day.  Sometimes they shuffle from burner to burner to oven to oven in order to cook several dishes at the same time.  Those dorks might be onto something:  When it comes to being a social media influencer, maybe quantity really is better than quality.  

HAH!  Incredibly, some of those "chefs" really seem to believe that.  (Yeah, I'm talking about YOU, Guy Fieri, Gordon Ramsay, Bobby Flay, Rachel Ray, and all the other showoffs on PBS, CBS, FOX, the Food Network, the Cooking Channel, etc.)  It's kind of sad to see them making a mockery of the profession I love so much.  Cookery is a serious art--not a vehicle for attracting the highest number of "LIKES" and "VIEWS."     

Yet, here I am today, vacillating between quantity and quality.  Those celebrity chefs have gotten into my head, but their evil ways have not overtaken me.  I'll stick to one high quality dish.  A delicious dish.  A dish for the common man like me.  And a salad.

Let the festivities begin!

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Indeed, it is a festive occasion.  This is the week leading up to St. Patrick's Day.  Irish people all over the U.S. and many other countries--including Ireland--will be wearing green clothing, eating corned beef & cabbage, drinking green beer and/or Guinness and/or Irish Whiskey, and singing drinking songs and sea shanties well into the night.

I'm not Irish, but I've done all that festive stuff in the past.  Well, not ALL of them.  I've avoided the singing thing because my voice isn't all that great.  But I've been practicing, and today I'm ready to flaunt my Irish tenor.  I even recruited the Irish Rovers to accompany me in the video you'll be seeing below. 

 

One or two years ago, I posted a St. Patrick's Day Reuben Sandwich recipe.  It was, as always, SUPER DELICIOUS.  I wasn't sure how to reproduce that excellence this year.  A corned beef and cabbage dinner was my first thought, but that seemed too cliche.  Instead, I came up with a Patty Melt.  I thought it was named after St. Patty.  Much too late, I realized my mistake.  A hamburger patty with cheese and grilled onion between two pieces of bread has nothing to do with St. Patty.

Undeterred, I made a patty melt anyway.  I tossed four thin quarter-pounders over hot coals.  While they cooked, I sauteed onions to carmelized perfection.

The tricky part was spreading a little mayo on both sides of two slices of sourdough bread, toasting them in a pan, and then transferring the burger and onions, along with a nice slice of cheese onto the bread.  I flipped the sandwich back and forth on the pan until it achieved a nice golden-brown hue.  It was like the same excellent technique I use when making a grilled cheese sandwich.

NICE

MMMMMM

I

Serve with a Green salad.  (This picture was taken before I poured a huge amount of orange French salad dressing on it.)

Chef G. approves.

Chef G. is now aware that his Patty Melt wasn't Irish.  He also knows his beer is neither green nor Irish.  It was still pretty tasty.