CHICKEN SOUP WITH BUGS: The Quintessential Minnesota Meal

Hi folks, Chef G. here, and it's my pleasure to welcome you back to America's most beloved destination for mid-western food excellence--that would be The Chef G. Cooking Channel.

And boy, you can't get much more "mid-western" than today's featured meal.  First of all, the mid-western state of Minnesota processes tons of chickens.  Second of all, it is home to millions of billions of bugs.  Thirdly, it's also the nation's #1 producer of wild rice which, as you'll soon see, is a pretty significant ingredient too.  (Here's an interesting fact: wild rice is officially recognized as the "Minnesota State Grain."  How cool is that?)

In addition, the citizens of Minnesota love their food to be homey, creamy, traditional, and not too spicy.  Chicken Soup With Bugs fits the bill on all counts.  Most importantly though, it's a complete meal in one pot--sort of like another Minnesota favorite known as "hotdish."  In the rest of the world, hotdish is called casserole.

At this point I should probably make a quick clarification regarding this dish:  My kids used to call it "Bug Soup" because of all the ants and mosquitoes crawling around in there.  They loved it.  But in reality there are no bugs.  What looked like insects to them were actually grains of wild rice.  I don't remember ever telling them that though, so I may never know if they loved the soup despite the bugs or BECAUSE of them.

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I've been making this delicious soup several times a year since the 1990's.  No food on earth can provide a warmer, fuzzier sensation on a cold Minnesota winter day than this slurry of chicken broth, wild rice, tender chunks of chicken breast, carrots, celery, onion, mushrooms, flour and butter.  Chicken wild rice soup is especially cozy on one of those days when you feel the sniffles coming on.  Some folks say my version of the soup is a bona fide cure for the common cold.  If it works for them, who am I to argue?

Now, I have to be cautious about making unsubstantiated claims at this time, but let's just say the medicinal properties of my soup MIGHT have some value in the fight against Covid-19.  Preliminary testing, conducted by ME in my secret laboratory, seems to support the theory.  However, I have not yet submitted my soup for peer-reviewed clinical trials, so it's too early to start spreading the news that it will speed up the recovery process for Covid patients--or maybe even CURE them.  At least not yet.

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Let's Make Some Soup!

-The first thing you're gonna wanna do is cut a couple large Minnesota chicken breasts into chunks.

-The second thing you're gonna wanna do is toss a cup of Minnesota-grown wild rice into a pan with 2 1/2 cups of Minnesota tap water.

-The third thing you're gonna wanna do is bring the wild rice and water
to a slow boil.  Let it simmer until all the water is absorbed.
-The fourth thing you're gonna wanna do is salt and pepper the chunks 
of Minnesota chicken and brown them in a pan.

-The fifth thing you're gonna wanna do is chop 1-1/2 cups of carrot, 1-2/3 cups of onion, three stalks of celery, and 3-1/2 cups of mushrooms.

The sixth thing you're gonna wanna do is saute the chopped onion, celery and carrot in 1/4 cup 
of olive oil for about five minutes.  These vegetables should also be seasoned with salt and pepper.  Stir them frequently with the wooden spoon that your wife has kindly labeled for you.  (You do NOT want to confuse the "meat-soup-chili" spoon with the "cookie" spoon.)

Yes, the "cookie" spoon is a real thing.  (Mrs. Chef G. has also approved the cookie spoon
for stirring such things as cake batter, homemade frosting, fruit salads, whipped cream,
Rice Krispie Treats, and chocolate sauce. 

 

-Getting back to the soup recipe, the seventh thing you're gonna wanna do is add 2-3/4 Quarts of chicken broth to the pot of sauteed veggies.  (You don't have to make your own broth; any organic store bought brand made from gluten-free, non-GMO, free range chickens will do.)  Let the broth start to heat up.

-Then comes the eighth, and by far the most crucial thing you're gonna wanna do.  It might seem pretty pretty easy to melt a stick-and-a-half of Minnesota's own Land O' Lakes butter in a pan, add a cup of Minnesota's own Gold Medal flour, and stir like crazy to create a light brown roux, but it actually requires intense concentration.  Today I was so focused on the task that I forgot to take a picture.  Let me assure you, however, that my roux was whipped up into a thing of surreal beauty.  

-The eighth thing you're gonna wanna do is slowly add about four cups of the broth from your soup pot to the roux.  Continue to stir like a maniac in order to get all the lumps out. Then pour the roux back into the soup pot.  Add the chunks of Minnesota chicken and bring the liquid to a boil.  Then turn the heat down to simmer.

The ninth thing you're gonna wanna do is Saute the sliced Minnesota mushrooms in a half-stick 
of Minnesota's Land O' Lakes butter for a couple minutes and then toss them into the soup pot.  Continue to simmer the soupy concoction for about 30 minutes.  Stir frequently.

The tenth thing you're gonna wanna do is add the cooked Minnesota wild rice to the soup about one minute before serving.  Stir it in thoroughly.

Now, I don't want you to be intimidated by all the awesome Minnesota ingredients I've mentioned.  If you don't have access to Minnesota chicken, Minnesota wild rice, Minnesota tap water, Minnesota butter, Minnesota vegetables and Minnesota flour, you can use your own local substitutes.  The end product won't be quite as good, of course, but it'll do.

The beautiful golden soup.

Serve the soup in a bowl and garnish with a few leaves of parsley.  Here!  Try it!
If you don't agree that this is the best soup ever slurped by a human being, I'll eat an anvil.

In fact, I'll eat the hammer too.

This is the condensed, un-illustrated version of my Bug Soup recipe
for those who prefer simplicity.

ROASTED ASIAN CHICKEN WINGS (With A Guest Appearance By Another Famous Chef)

Hi folks, and welcome back to another installment of the entertainment juggernaut that is The Chef G. Cooking Channel.  I'm your host, Chef G., and today I'm going to do something that has never been done in the long, long history of this blog.  I am going to share a recipe that is not of my own creation.

I admit it:  I stole the recipe from Emeril Lagasse who is a pretty big celebrity chef in his own right, though not quite on par with me.  Actually, I didn't steal it so much as I cut it out of Parade Magazine--a nationwide Sunday newspaper insert.  I assume Parade had Emeril's permission to publish the recipe, therefore it must be okay for me to post a picture of it as long as I give proper credit to my cooking competitor.  

Anyway, I doubt Emeril will even notice my thievery.  Rumor has it that he doesn't watch The Chef G. Cooking Channel because he's too intimidated by my chef-ly excellence.  I'm guessing he has no recollection of doing that Parade gig, and even if he does, it's been more than a decade since I committed my great recipe-rip-off caper.  Certainly there's a statute of limitations on that kind of thing . . . isn't there?

It's not plagiarism if you credit your source . . . right?

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This is one of the most complex dishes I cook, but, oh man, it is so worth the effort.  If you enlarge the picture above, you'll see it has a boatload of ingredients, all of which have a purpose.  When I prepare this dish I use all of them, but I DO make a couple of proprietary alterations which make my chicken wings even better than Emeril's.  [Note: "Proprietary" means my alterations are secret and if you want to see them you'll have to pay me.  BAM!]

Just kidding folks.  I am more than happy to share my expertise free of charge.  Besides, The Chef G. Cooking Channel already pays me more money than I know what to do with.

The first modification I made to Emeril's recipe involves making the sauce.  I use only half the quantities of fresh-squeezed orange juice and pineapple juice he recommends.  That gives the mixture a little more thickness, which helps it stick to the wings better.  NICE!

The second modification is that, after drenching the wings in the sauce, I don't put them back in the oven.  Instead, I put them on the charcoal grill for the final 20-25 minutes.

There you go.  Those are the only two areas where I stray from Chef Legasse's recipe.  And let me tell you, these wings will make you forget about places like Buffalo Wild Wings and Wingstop and maybe even Hooters.  They will be a huge hit at your next event, no matter whether it's an art-appreciation soiree or a fraternity kegger.

Twenty pieces of chicken deliciousness.

Emeril likes it!  (Thank you, Emeril.)

Chef G. likes it too.

CHEF G. TAKES THE CHEESEBURGER TO A HIGHER LEVEL: THE JUICY LUCY

Hi folks, Chef G. here once again whether you like it or not.  Today I'm going to do some more outdoor cooking because, after all, I AM one of my blog's most influential grillmasters.  Okay, I'm being much too modest.  In reality, I am unsurpassed by ANYBODY in the entire world who has written on The Chef G. Cooking Channel.  To quote Walter Brennan, "No brag, just fact."

Last week I received my first of two Corona Virus vaccines and what better way to celebrate than to whip up one of my absolute faves.  The Juicy Lucy is not only one of the best things I've ever tasted, but it also brings back a pretty fond memory . . .

                                           . . .Fade into fond memory mode . . .

Back in 1995, I learned how to make this specialty burger from a good friend while on a hiking/camping/drinking trip in Wyoming.  We were relaxing in the Flaming Gorge National Recreation Area after a rugged backpacking trip in the Wind River Mountain Range.  Hot, dry and scenic, it was a perfect location for us to celebrate making it out of the Wind Rivers alive.

My buddy--let's call him Bartender J.--taught me how to make this amazing specialty burger as the sun set behind the weirdly-eroded landscape.  I will never forget that meal.  I think Bartender J. called it an "onion burger with cheese in the middle."  

It was a unique creation at the time, but a few years later I learned a Minneapolis dive called Matt's Bar made their own version and called it a "Juicy Lucy" without giving any credit to Bartender J.  One of  the biggest injustices in food history is that Bartender J. receives no royalties from his masterpiece.  

No matter what you want to call that burger, it was perfect for our little party, though the party was only "little" in that we were the only two attendees.  It was a HUGE party in that we ate like kings, drank like fishes, swore like sailors, and made fools of ourselves like politicians.

The setting for Chef G. and Bartender J.'s Juicy Lucy party.  Not too shabby.

Well, that's enough reminiscing.  It's time to return to 2021 and start cooking.  Here is a photographic guide to grilling a high quality Juicy Lucy.

The first step is to mince up some fresh onion.  Next, form two large hamburger patties. They should be at least 1/4 each.  Mine are closer to 1/2 each.  The burger should have at least 15% fat content--don't use that extra lean crap.

Press both sides of the burger patties into the minced onion.

 

Put slices of good quality cheddar cheese on top of one of the patties.
(Actually, almost any type of cheese can be used.  The Juicy Lucy in the photo at the top of this page had provolone in it.  I made that one last fall.)

Put the other burger patty on top and press the edges down so the cheese is fully enclosed.  Then season with your favorite spice blend.  Now your Juicy Lucy is ready to bring to the grill.

 

While the Juicy Lucy is sizzling over the hot coals, add more of the spice mix to both sides.  Back at the Flaming Gorge party, Bartender J. used a product called "Spike."  On a scale of 1-10, we applied the Spike to a factor of 11.  On subsequent trips, no matter what spice blend we used, 
we always called it "Spike Factor."

Continue to grill the burger for about ten-twelve minutes, turning it over frequently.  When the meat is cooked throughout, the cheese inside will be melted.  At that point, toast a hamburger bun over the coals for about a minute.

 

Put the Juicy Lucy onto one half of the toasted bun and (optionally) add a small amount of ketchup or barbeque sauce.

The finished product!

CORN: Iowa's Crop, America's Vegetable

A Few Words About the Chef:

Chef G. is an award-winning chef and by far the most prolific writer on the Chef G. Cooking Channel.  As such, he uses his celebrity status to provide cooking joy to several people throughout the world.  Though his cooking would be in demand in any country on earth,[1]  he prefers to stick to his culinary roots, specializing in humble mid-western cuisine. 

A true rising star in the foodie world, people hardly ever spit, gag or vomit on Chef G.'s creations any more.

Chef G. humbly hoists his "Excellence In Cooking" trophy at the 2021 Thumbs-Up Awards
 Ceremony.  To date, Chef G. is the only chef in the world who has given himself this honor. 

And, honestly, who better than Chef G. to present this article on corn?  The guy is a native of IOWA--the #1 corn growing state in the United States of America.  Sure, there are lots of Iowans out there, but how many of them can claim to have reigned as CORN KING?

The Corn King of 1976.  (The dude looks like he's high on corn silk.)

Now, without further ado, I'd like to turn the keyboard over to the star of this show.  Please give a big, hardy welcome to the one and only CHEF G.!!!

A Few Thoughts On Corn

Hi folks, Chef G. here, and I'd like to thank my producer for that excellent introduction.  In this episode I'm going to tell you everything you'll ever need to know about corn, and I'll start with the most basic question:  What the heck IS corn?  

How is it to be classified?  Is it a vegetable?  Is it a grain?  Or is it something else?  Is it even a food for human consumption?  Or is it an agent for fattening cows and pigs?  Or is it a biofuel, something to be refined and added to gasoline to make our automobiles go?  Or is it nature's gift to bourbon whiskey distillers?  Or did God himself intend those golden kernels to be transformed into the most ubiquitous food sweetener of all--high fructose corn syrup?  Is corn good?  Is it evil?

I don't know the scientific answers to all those questions.  All I know is that when I was a kid growing up in Iowa, grocery stores didn't sell corn in the grain section with the wheat, barley, oats, quinoa, etc.  No, it was located in the frozen vegetable section along with asparagus, lima beans, broccoli and other distasteful stuff.  And it was in the canned vegetable aisle right next to the disgusting spinach, peas, and green beans.

To this day, corn can still be found in the canned & frozen food aisles and, in it's various forms, almost every other grocery store aisle too.

While on a quick corn-shopping spree this morning I scooped up all kinds of
delicious corn products.[2]  
 

I must tell you, though, that the BEST corn has always been found in the FRESH vegetable section.  That's where corn really stood out in my youth.  Sweet corn-on-the-cob was in its prime from mid-July to mid-August, and during that time of the year it was displayed in huge mounds.  My mom would grab an ear from the pile, peel back the green leaves to inspect the ear for bugs, and then toss the good ones into the shopping cart and the bad ones back on the pile.  Oh, the memories.

In the years that followed I've come to appreciate a few other vegetables, but to this day, none of them can match the awesomeness of a good ear of corn.  And the corn of today, genetically engineered for maximum sweetness, is even tastier than the corn we ate in the 1970s and probably even tastier than the corn (maize) eaten by native North & South Americans for centuries before that.

For Best Results, Forget The Grocery Store

Unquestionably, the ideal way to buy corn is to make a trip to any small town in Iowa and seek out the busiest intersection, where a farm girl has set up a temporary corn stand.  She will be sitting on a lawn chair next to a cart full of fresh-picked sweet corn.  She's been sitting there all day in the heat and humidity.  No problem, she's used to it.  She has the sleeves of her t-shirt rolled up to her shoulders and her hair pulled back into a ponytail to keep her neck cool.  She bags up a dozen ears of corn at a time for a steady stream of customers.  She accepts cash only, and makes change from a cigar box.  During the slow times she sits in the shade and reads a paperback book.

The same scene can be found in Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, and any other mid-western corn state.

And, unlike the grocery store, the farm stand can be trusted to sell you corn that was picked only a few hours prior.  The corn in the supermarket was likely picked two weeks ago in someplace like California.  Iowans and Minnesotans grow their corn with love and the sweetness of nature, whereas Californians probably sweeten their corn with an infusion of high-fructose corn syrup--which they import from Iowa.[3]

Not quite as quaint as the Iowa farm girl, but my corn dealer is this couple from
Minnesota selling some mighty fine corn out of the back of a pick-up truck. 


 

Three Ways Into Corn Heaven

There are many ways to cook an ear of corn--some good, some not so good--but to me, "good" is not good enough.  I am about to teach you how to achieve corn EXCELLENCE by way of the three best cooking methods known to man.  

I want to be clear about one thing though: I did not originate these methods.  The Aztec and Mayan chefs of the 14th Century can take credit for that.[4] Nevertheless, there can be no doubt that I perfected them. 

Now let's move on to my step-by-step instructions for creating a feast of corn that no 3-Star Michelin chef has ever dreamed of.

• Remove the green leaves and silk from two of the three ears of corn.
• Discard the greens, but save the silk for future use.[5]
• Wrap one of the ears in aluminum foil.

• Put charcoals in a grill and start them on fire.
• Put water and some salt in a pot and bring it to a boil on the stove.
• When the charcoals are hot, put the foil-wrapped ear and the un-husked ear on the grate directly over the coals.  Roast for about 20 minutes, turning them three or four times.
• When the water on the stove comes to a rolling boil, put the third ear into the pot.  Let it sit in the boiling water for about 12 minutes.

• When the cooking times have elapsed, remove all three ears from the heat sources.
• Peel the charred husks from the last un-peeled ear.
• Place all three ears on the nicest plate you have.  Presentation is an important part of le mais cuisine.
• Speaking of presentation, garnish the plate with popcorn--a most underrated form of corn.
• Sprinkle salt and pepper on the corn and liberally slather it with butter.

A meal fit for a king!

The Science Of Eating Corn-On-The Cob

There are many ways to eat corn-on-the-cob, but there is only one right way . . . the IOWA WAY.  Time after time I've seen egregious mistakes made by inexperienced corn eaters from places like Nevada or Connecticut or Iceland.  It almost makes me want to grab their plates and eat their corn for them.[6]  Here is a summary of the IOWA WAY in two quick photos:

Do not chew around the ear as shown at the bottom of this picture.
Do not take random bites like you see on the ear in the middle.
The correct way to eat corn on the cob is to chew horizontally.
Pretend it's a typewriter and peck at the kernels from left to right.
THAT'S THE IOWA WAY!

 

The two ears at the top were eaten by amateurs.  They're messy and incomplete.
The ear at the bottom was eaten the IOWA WAY--cleanly and efficiently--and the 
cob can be saved for future use.[7]

A Very Brief Conclusion

This was actually the first time I've ever made all three of my awesome corn recipes at the same time, so it was kind of fun to judge which one was the best.  And the winner of the side-by-side tasting contest is . . . . . The Ear That Was Roasted In The Husk!  I guess the greenery provided a little extra pizzazz.

I hope you are inspired to try the different forms of corn and judge for yourself.  And, as always, I thank you for reading my article and I hope you tune in next time.

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Footnotes

[1] Assuming that country's citizens are starving enough.

[2]  With one exception:  Creamed corn is the worst crime ever committed upon the world of vegetabledom.  Seriously, what kind of twisted mind would ever think of "creaming" such a majestic vegetable?

[3] Chef G. has no actual proof to back up his "high fructose corn syrup infusion" theory.

[4] This assertion is based on no historical evidence whatsoever.

[5] Back in the 1940's, kids who lived in the corn belt used to dry the silk, roll it up in cigarette papers, and smoke it for peace and relaxation.  I'm not here to promote a revival of that practice, so please don't send me your hate mail.  I'm just suggesting the silk can be used to create a discrete hair piece for bald guys like me.

[6] That wouldn't be sanitary though. 

[7] Before toilet paper was invented, people used corn cobs for wiping purposes.